If you don’t believe in them, who will?

“Once an addict, always an addict.” -says, Everyone

When I was looking for help to save my marriage (and my husband's life!) I was told over and over, “An addict is an addict for life, you know,” or, “It will never really go away, they’ll always be an addict.”

I was also told, “Relapse is part of recovery,” and, “Once trust is broken, it can never be fully rebuilt.”

When my husband agreed to go back into treatment and take responsibility for his actions, they said, “Wait until he gets back into the ‘real world.’”

Gee... thanks....?

With all those ✌️positive vibes 🤟going on, it was hard not to feel discouraged.

If you're in the same situation, I suggest putting in your spiritual earplugs and stop listening to those people because it's not helping you. While you're at it, tell Satan to GO AWAY and steal someone else's hope! 

Yes, yell at him.

I'm not saying we should ignore the nature of addiction, be full of positivity and put our heads in the sand. Quite the contrary, be informed. Educate yourself on the history of addiction, its treatment and success stories.

After you've thoroughly educated yourself in the world’s opinions and expertise, open your Bible and study what God tells us. Ask yourself, does what you learned about addiction from the world, align with what God said in His Word?

God’s Word says He is an extravagant and loving heavenly Father. He will not let us down. He promises us divine mercy, grace and salvation. Does that sound like a, "Once an addict, always an addict," mentality to you? Nope!

"Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." -2 Peter 1:4 (NIV)

It's beneficial to our loved one's healing that we stay positive and healthy.

God will fix our hopeless-mess when we start walking in hopefulness. 

Thinking and believing, “Once an addict always an addict,” is discouraging nonsense Satan uses to steal our hope and destroy our future.

Addict or not, we're all sinners, and we're all in the same boat; Without God, we’re all lost.

Let’s be honest for a moment now, nothing they did is worse than what you have done, according to God. It doesn’t seem fair considering they have probably done some really nasty things, but God is merciful. His grace covers anyone who comes to Him.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” -2 Corinthians 5:17

I noticed a massive change in my husband when I realized his healing started with my words and attitude (props to Jesus!).

I didn't want to accept that my attitude could be a factor in his healing, “He gets to act like a fool, and I have to take the high road? How fair is that??!!” Fair or not, it's impossible to walk in faith and trust God while simultaneously running around talking about how bad our problems are all the time.

God promised us the desires of our hearts, and it was my heart's desire to have a family and see my husband healed. I began to pray for knowledge, wisdom and patience for myself and thanked God for my husband. I refused to let Satan tell me the man I loved wasn't worth loving anymore. I hate to say it, but it wasn't easy! My husband was a complicated man to love sometimes, but I chose to love him anyway. 

And I'm so glad I did because today, I can see the fruit of my hope in him. 

Is hope enough to heal them?

Hope is faith. There are a lot of discussions lately on how to "cure" addiction. Some say it's a disease that needs a cure [Wanna know what I think? Read, The Biggest Lie About Addiction], others say only a drug will stop the cravings they're so strong. The Creator, the One who MADE US says otherwise, 

“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?" -Jeremiah 32:27

Love for all people really is a choice. Our loved ones have pain. They've sinned. They've hurt us. Just as it's a choice for us to love them, it's a choice for them to choose recovery. If they're working on sobriety with a whole heart, then we need to work on love and trust in ours. 

I challenge you to try speaking in faith about your loved one, especially if you’re not convinced in what you’re saying. Whether it's your child, a parent, a friend, a brother, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, an uncle or your spouse... thank God for them. 

Taking a position of hopeful happiness will affect them, even if you can't see it right away. Plus, it'll make you feel better. Promise!

"[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." -1 Corinthians 13:7

Things you can say about them (you’re welcome LOL 😂):

• God has a calling on [name]’s life, and His purpose will come to fulfillment.

• God uses all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), so it will be for [name].

• [Name] is in the process of being healed because God said whatever we ask in His name is already done (John 14:13).

• The more broken you are, the bigger your ministry! [Name] must have a ministry.

• My prayers have created a barrier around [name] from the enemy, no evil can touch them.

• I will never lose faith for [name]'s healing, I serve a loving and faithful God.

• He is The Lord who heals (Exodus 15:26).

• [Name] is an anointed [Son/Daughter] of God and The Lord will restore [him/her] to righteousness.

• I will walk in faith and hope today.

• I believe in mercy and forgiveness for [name].

• I forgive [name] for any pain they may have caused me.

• The enemy will NOT steal my life, my joy or my hope.

• I am a Child of God, a rightful heir to the throne, and so is [name].

• SATAN, GET AWAY FROM ME AND FROM [NAME] IN THE NAME OF JESUS, YOU LOSER!

If you don’t believe in what you’re saying, keep saying it. If you don’t see progress being made, keep looking for it. If things get worse, don’t lose faith. If you've done your research, you know it's crucial for your loved one to realize that the pain of being addicted is greater than the pain of staying sober. Hang on to your hope, it usually gets worse before it gets better. 

In the meantime, allow God to work on your issues (this is tough stuff!) and strengthen your heart, so you are happily resting in His peace. That’s right, happily resting. You can be happy.

If you need some support, check out our online community! It’s only $4.95/month. It's full of women in the same place as you. They get it. They know. And trust me when I say they'll be happy to meet you!

So, can hope save a life? Yes. My husband is living proof.

And there are many more stories just like ours in our online community!

Leah Grey

LOVED THAT? DON’T MISS…

*Previously called, “Can an Addict Stop Being an Addict?”. Updated 05/27/19.