We’re in the wild, wild world of the modern century, people. Everyone’s armoured up. We’re basically on rations. And it’s killin’ time. Kinda literally. Sorry, that was a bad joke.

Have you ever been trapped inside of a house with nowhere to go with a raging alcoholic? No, me either, but I don’t want to be. I can imagine it feels much like a poor child would being trapped inside with a raging parent. Not much food. School is gone. What is happening?

The Bible told us these things would come (and no, it’s not the Armageddon), but if I’m honest, I kinda didn’t believe it would happen in my lifetime. Or my kids. People losing their jobs left and right, utilities not being paid, mortgages adding up, student loans, the market crashing. 

Suddenly, all of the things that we thought kept us safe- they’re gone. Or they could be if you’re of the fortunate to still be employed. 

Who, or what is your safety net?

My husband and I have been in some dire situations before. I remember in the summer of 2017, I was looking into schools online. I spoke to a few of the admissions offices. I was gearing up to take a business class to help me with the little business I had been growing online. I wasn’t feeling very well and realized, uh oh, I haven’t had my monthly in awhile. CRAP. No, no, no, no, no!

At the time, my husband had gone into somewhat of a second childhood. Third childhood. Maybe more like his one-hundred millionth childhood, I don’t know. Long hair that grew outward and upward like a Spanish afro, he started wearing t-shirts to work instead of suits and riding an electric skateboard. At least a real skateboard works out your legs. It was like being on a hoverboard… sideways. He was eating out and staying out late. Working? Maybe. 

I rushed to the store to get a pregnancy test. There it was- the baby wall. I’d been there before. A couple of times. Ahem. I bought the three-pack just in case the first one failed me, I had to be sure. 

Ten minutes later and staring at the stupid pink lines, I angrily told all three tests they could suck it because they were all liars. Regretfully, I called my husband into our sunroom (it was my peaceful place) and told him through the waterfalls of tears that I was pregnant again. 

He smiled and immediately posted it on Facebook. Within SECONDS, my entire family was texting and calling to congratulate me on the news. Talk about killing time… sorry, still a bad joke.

I wanted to go back to school. I have already given up so much because of my husband’s addiction and missed the prime years of my life (late twenties, people. Late twenties) and now my future was ruined again. How would I ever live my successful New Yorker dream if I didn’t go back to work until my mid-thirties?!

I had a lot of excuses for why I couldn’t do anything stressful, high-risk pregnancies and pre-term babies for one. But the truth was, I was too overwhelmed and anxious to pursue anything at that point. The more people told me, “You can still go back to school,” the more overwhelmed I got. I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to stand for long periods of time. I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to add any stress. I knew that my life was already extremely stressful and doing both of those things would be nearly impossible, so adding school on top of it? No. That wasn’t going to be possible for me. 

“In the multitude of my thoughts within me your comforts delight my soul,” Psalm 94:19, AKJV.

Fear is not from God.

This quarantine doesn’t scare me. I have been scared too many times in my life already. What does scare me, is my children not being “ready” emotionally, their anxieties too great. When it comes time for the world to “birth” Jesus Christ again, I fear they will not be ready, like I wasn’t ready for my baby. I don’t want them to be so busy, that they cannot handle it or to have other plans that were so important, that they weren’t willing to accept God’s. 

This virus taught me a few things about preparedness I didn’t expect: 

• Only having three days worth of food on-hand for a family of five is not the wisest thing to do. Even if it’s cost-efficient. 

• We should all forget about investing in gold and create a small storehouse of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, instead. Maybe fill your garden shed. It could be lucrative during a pandemic.

• The border can separate my husband from his son in the U.S.A. That’s terrifying and sad (albeit necessary!) that the government can do that in a democracy. 

• My kids love being at home and quarantined. They clearly don’t have enough chores.  

Jokes aside, we should be wise about our financial stability. Having your retirement fund and life savings in stocks (think, 401K or mutual funds) is not wise. Keep your retirement money close. Roll it over periodically into a high-interest savings account or IRA, if possible. You will take a hit on the future compound interest, but you will secure your financial stability. 

Set aside money and have it ready to invest in the market when it’s low. There’s a decent crash every ten years or so, guaranteed there will be another in your lifetime (unless you’re very old, in which case, I hope you lived a good life and the market recovers before you go. Pass your wisdom on and make sure your family knows how Aunt Betty and Uncle Joe were related to them- cause no one left will know). Also, if you see Lululemon drop down lower than $150 a share, buy it. It’s a good investment. That company has a bright future.

Prepare your children and let them know what’s going on. Teach them how to manage their finances. Dave Ramsey’s “Spend,” “Save,” “Give,” jars are a great idea. Whatever money your children get, they have to put 10% in their save jar, 10% in their give jar- even if it’s a dollar from Grandma. My oldest son saved $190 in one year.

I don’t know if you’re trapped in the house with someone who is battling an addiction or if there is a nightmare inside your house, but consider how you can prepare. There is no time like the present to prepare for the future. If you need help finding mental clarity and reducing anxiety so you can make decisions (I get it!) try this free devotional, The Let Go Devo.

All things work together for good to those who love God.

In the end, everything worked out great. I had the baby. She was our first girl, I had always wanted a girl! Now my house is filled with pink, dolls, bunnies, and bows and I couldn’t be happier. God knows what we need, even when it’s not what we want. Maybe this is your time for you to get what you need, too. Enjoy your people. Relax.

This might not be the right season to fight about addiction. If things are relatively peaceful, try letting it go for now. If things get bad, shelters are still open. Call the police and tell them you’re trapped in the house with a violent alcoholic and need them removed because you’re afraid for your safety. They’re taking it more seriously now.

If you need support at any time, please join Habit this month. I have extended the free trial to 60 days because of COVID-19 and lowered the membership to $7 thereafter. Though I appreciate your support, it’s better right now you are supported.

Much love to you and everything is going to be okay. You’ll see, just prepare. Don’t be afraid of the smoking gun.

Q- I’d love to hear your story and point of view. Have you learned anything through this time? Has it been especially difficult or a quiet blessing?

Leah Grey

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